manic mondays.

it's back. my sunday evening jitters.

last thursday, while doing piles of documentation for my risk-based audit assistance to Des (our boss decided not to give us assistants, might have realized that he can still make use of our extra time by having us assist each other instead, plus the obvious fact that those we got last year were a bunch of incompetents and therefore a waste of our already measly internal budget), the feeling that i do not like what i was doing hit me. It's that wave of strong emotions not very different when one remembers an old love. In short, nagpitik lang bigla. I had doubts before, thursday confirmed all of it. habo ko ni. i should be doing something else instead.

With that came the decision to just get through with it excellently (this assistance plus my own solo project), for me to have the pride and courage to ask for an exit come november. I am thinking of moving to corporate planning, pero habo kong finance-related na corporate planning. or ad and promo. or project development. if only i had a little more talent... it would be innovations and design. haay.

Last friday, i asked Des to give me all files related to our project, so i can study it and eventually be able complete my part of the bargain during the weekend. I did none of these things.

tomorrow, i am up for my bosses' review. and i did nothing. last week, i haven't been doing anything either but lose online poker chips. Well.

Now i can't sleep. i think i am having an anxiety attack, tsk. If only this is a good enough reason to cry.